Blasted!

May 14, 2013

Dear Family,

I LOVE YOU! It was absolutely amazing to talk to you on the phone. You all sounded so happy and I was about to burst, myself, with happiness. Thanks for being such amazing siblings and parents. I'm so lucky to have you.

This was a crazy week! It was one of those weeks where, when I reflect on it, I need to remember that numbers don't say everything...actually, I feel that they don't say much at all because the time we spent in meetings and planning are so important. There are no "key indicators" that measure how much I learned, how my faith grew, how much closer I came to my Savior, or how much joy I felt this past week. They also don't record time spent praying about, pondering and planning for the sister missionaries that I have stewardship over or how my love has grown for each of them individually. At times when Sunday night rolls around and we're adding up our totals for the week, I get a bit frustrated because the numbers don't match how I feel about the week. Luckily, right after we do numbers, I go into the room, kneel down, and account to the master of this work on my stewardship. That's when I really feel His love and feel how proud He is of me. He reassures me that I'm doing my best and that's what He has asked me to give. He also helps me see past numbers and seemingly temporal things, and shows me how the things that I've done this past week will affect me and, more importantly others, in the eternal scheme of things.

Prayer is powerful. It is through prayer that I've learned of who I really am as His daughter. It's through prayer that I've come to understand what the Savior is asking of me as His representative. It is through prayer that I feel an even deeper connection with not only my Father in Heaven, but my family here on the Earth. My love for my family has grown so much and I feel that my relationships with all of you are so much deeper now than before, even though I'm hundreds of miles from each of you. That's something that I realized on Sunday when I was able to spend a little time talking to all of you on the phone. It really hit me that the love that I have for you isn't of this world, but it's an eternal love that will never fail. Elder Robbins spoke about choosing to love and that we don't "fall" in love because that eliminates agency. When he said that, I realized that that is why my love for my family is so deep. I have chosen, over and over again, to love each of you. Now I understand how important the Savior is in relationships and how He is the one that can make love perfect. It is through His grace. I just learned so much yesterday, and I'm grateful for the insights that I received as I listened to an especial witness of Jesus Christ.

Having Elder Robbins here was absolutely amazing. I felt overwhelmed by how much I was trying to take in. I felt that I couldn't write fast enough, and I just wished that he would pause for like 30 minutes after each comment so I could ponder on what he just said. Sadly, that didn't happen, so I felt like I was trying to drink water from a fire hose (as Sister Tippetts always used to say). He was just blasting us with pure doctrine! I loved it! The Spirit was so strong in those meetings that we had with him. It wasn't like I felt the Spirit super strong at one point and then I would get hit again when I heard something that was specifically for me, but it was a steady outpouring of the Spirit in those meetings. Everything that was being taught was something that I needed to hear. I had been praying and pondering about questions that I could seek revelation on through Elder Robbins’s visit, and I received very clear answers on those questions. When Jordan told me that the last 6 months of my mission will be the best 6 months of my mission, I thought about that a lot, and I wasn't sure how I could do that. I had been thinking about how it is my decision what the rest of my mission brings, but I was struggling to know where to begin so that I can accomplish the things that I and, more importantly, the Lord wants me to accomplish the rest of my mission. It is very clear to me now that a great part of what I am to accomplish throughout the remainder of my time here is to teach these other sisters. The Lord is asking me to really consecrate myself as a missionary and leave everything on the altar of sacrifice. I've done well, but I can do better. He wants me to take responsibility and teach these new missionaries how to become effective advocates of the truth. He wants me to teach them what their potential is as daughters of God and how to reach that potential. He wants me to do that because then I will understand those things better myself, and I will also be able to affect more people. He is giving me such an amazing opportunity to not only affect those in my area, but to allow my influence to be expanded to all of the sisters and those that they will teach, or train, or be companions with. It's a bit daunting, but I know that the Lord has been and will continue to qualify me. I know that He loves me because He trusts me with this LARGE, GREAT, HUGE, CRAZY task/responsibility. I am happy to have it.

Well, I want to write a quick update about Aubrey and Tyler before I finish. They are doing well. I was feeling a bit of stress about their baptism, because we're under pressure to have Aubrey ready by the 25th. Her mom, Dawnya, told us that her family has already purchased plane tickets so they can come to her baptism on the 25th. I almost screamed when she told us that, because we were about to tell her that we felt that the baptism should be moved back since we can only meet with them on the weekend. Well, we told Dawnya that we would go ahead as planned and see what happens. If Aubrey isn't ready, she isn't getting baptized, but I feel at peace about it. That night, I was praying about it a lot and wasn't sure if we were doing the right thing. I didn't want Aubrey to feel pressured or rushed into baptism, but then I realized that she doesn't need to have a perfect knowledge in order to be baptized. She needs to understand who she is, who her Savior is, and that only through His true church can we return to live with God. As I was praying, I felt peace. I felt that she will be ready to be baptized by the 25th and that I need to trust in the Lord and in the Spirit to prepare her, not in myself. Aubrey has come such a long way in a very short time. Whenever she prays I feel the Spirit so strongly and it's just so beautiful to see the changes that are happening in her, her brother, and her mom. I really love their family and I'm excited for when they'll be baptized.

I love this work. There really is nothing else like it in the world...that's because it's not of this world.

Love,

Sister Bennett