My California AdVENTURAs: EXCLAMATION POINT!

October 7, 2013

Dear Family,

YOU HEARD IT! It's time to do missionary work....exclamation point! Time to be member missionaries, people! When I was watching conference I kept thinking, "This is going to be so great! The brethren are backing up what we're trying to get the ward to do! Now no one can say 'no!' Hah!" Then the thought came, "What's my family doing to be member missionaries? Am I letting them off too easily?" Yes. No one ever shares missionary moments with me. What's up with that? I'm a MISSIONARY. That's what I care about. I have had the best examples of gospel living growing up through mom and dad and all of my amazing siblings. It's great that we're examples to each other, but we ALREADY HAVE THE GOSPEL. Duh. haha. Please, make a goal to be better member missionaries and please tell me about it. Maybe you don't all actually read this letter, but you might as well do it now when you only have to hear from me once a week. Whenever that dreaded day comes of going home, nothing can stop me from bugging you like crazy. Yay. Love you, exclamation point!

Sister Burwell and I are exhausted. We put so much into the exchanges that we go on that when we get back to Ventura, to our area, we feel like we're moving in slow motion. It's a good exhaustion, though. It's being exhausted in the Lord's work. That is definitely a rewarding feeling. The amazing thing is that He helps us quickly renew our strength so we can go another week and help the sisters. I'm reallyexcited for this upcoming week because one of us, either Sister Burwell or I, will be in our area everyday this week. I'm grateful because we've felt like we're neglecting our area. We know it's not true, but it's hard to not think that at times.

As far as how I'm doing after this past week, I feel a lot better. My mind is clear, and I don't feel burdened down anymore. I learned a lot from what I went through, and now I'm more on guard toward allowing myself to entertain those thoughts of inadequacy, comparing, or competition. There were a lot of things that I learned from Conference about what I went through, since it's still on my mind at times. I had an interview with President Castro on Saturday night, and he talked to me about what I wrote about last week. I have also been thinking a lot about what we talked about in my interview. He really just took a lot of time to tell me that I'm doing really well and what I'm doing well at. He was building me up and helping me see the things that are "in my blind spots" at times. I've been praying to really understand who I am, personally, so I don't need to rely on anyone telling me those things. I shouldn't need someone to tell me how great I am, or how much I've changed or grown. I should be able to go to the Lord and hear those things from Him, but also recognize them in myself. I am very grateful that he was willing to point those things out for me, but I don't want to have to always have that from someone. I do think I need some reassurance at times in little things that people say, but my overall self-worth can't depend on someone telling me what it is. I know who I am. I know where I stand with the Lord, but now I just want that to be more solidified within myself. It's a good feeling that I have right now. I feel in control, when a week ago I felt totally out of control. I am capable of so much more than what I tell myself at times, and I've been really recognizing that this past week.

We had Mission Leadership Council this week. It was awesome I learned a lot! President Castro talked about faith, hope, and charity. That was really good. I love how inseparable they are, but when we study them we can pull them apart to really understand each attribute. In the end, though, you can't have one without the other. It's great. One huge thing that stuck out to me is that Charity doesn't come from us, but it works through us by revelation. It's not OUR love. It's "the pure love OF CHRIST." It doesn't say the "pure love of Sister Bennett" or whoever else wants to posses it. Charity works through us. I love that, because it puts even more emphasis on the fact that we truly are just instruments in the hands of the Lord.

Sister Burwell and I were asked to do some training at MLC, again, but I'm really grateful for all of the opportunities Sister Burwell and I are given to teach in those types of settings. I learn so much as we prepare, and I just love teaching the other missionaries. That's what a huge focus is for me, just helping the other missionaries. I feel like I've been blessed to have my vision raised a lot on my mission, and I want to share that vision with everyone else.

Jed is doing great. We had lunch with him in between sessions of General Conference, and I'm just so amazed by his growth and perspective on things. He loves Heavenly Father so much. He just talked to me a lot about how he's seen Heavenly Father more in his life, because he goes to God more. He said he used to struggle when he was at school, teaching, because he would want to do everything perfectly, but lately he stops and takes time to say a little prayer or listen to a hymn on his phone. Jed has gained a lot of peace as he's been progressing in the gospel. I love that. That is the most important thing for us to do as missionaries - direct the investigators toward their Heavenly Father. Yes, Jed and Stefanie really love us a lot, they trust us, but I know that they trust God more and look to Him more. I'm getting so excited for their wedding and for Jed's baptism! I'm really excited to meet their family and for Jed's family to feel the Spirit at his baptism. I'm just excited. Super, DUPER excited! It's only two weeks away now, that's great!

Diana came to the ward picnic on Monday and LOVED it. She actually went without us, because we got there late, and when we showed up she just said "hi" and kept doing what she was doing - talking to members, playing with her kids. I loved it! There were so many people at the picnic that Sister Burwell and I have taught, and it was really amazing to see how they don't need us. They were all being taken care of by the members of the ward. Yes, they said "hi" and were excited to see us, but if we had never shown up they would have felt fine. Jed and Stefanie were there as well, and I can't tell you how popular Jed is. Everyone wants to talk to him and be around him. All the men in the ward were flocked around him. I loved that! It makes total sense. Jed is a very special person. You can't help but just be around him and talk to him. I understand why everyone loves him so much.

Since the picnic, Diana and Phillip have fallen off of the map, kind of. We went to see Diana yesterday, because she had something come up on Saturday and couldn't meet. She seemed a little sand-offish, but it's ok. Her boyfriend's parents were there so maybe that affected her. We're meeting with her next Saturday, but I really don't want to wait that long. She needs to keep progressing like she has, and not seeing us for a whole week may not be the best. We're praying about it and we'll figure it out. Last night, I was just pleading with the Lord to help her read the Book of Mormon and to stay engaged in learning and progressing. It was just so obvious how happy it made her to come to church and associate with such great people. I'll be praying for her a lot this week.

It was a great week.

Love,
Sister Bennett