"For I Am Not Ashamed Of The Gospel of Christ"

 
July 23, 2012

 Dearest FAMILY,

The title of the email is what Sister Wilkinson, my new companion, says totally explains me. I am not ashamed to share the gospel with everyone because I know what I believe. I was thinking about it and she is right. I love the gospel, I love being a missionary even when it's hard, and I love being a representative of Jesus Christ. Even if when I walk up to someone I have no idea what I am doing, I am still going to talk to them because I am not ashamed. I want everyone to have the opportunity to hear about the gospel, I want to say that I have done all that I can. (Romans 1:16 - mark it. Ha)

Mom, I’m sorry that I don't really respond to questions that well. It's just that I have a limited amount of time, so I try to let you all know what I am doing before I run out! Ah! I will try to be better. Cortney looks so cute in all of the pictures she sent to me from Aqua. I showed them to all of the missionaries emailing here with me and they all said that she looks like she is really fun! I said, "She is! She's my best friend, duh!" Haha. Probably not the response they were expecting, but it made sense to me. I also got pictures from Nan of her and Solon’s photo shoot with Uncle David. I showed those to everyone as well and they just think that Brandice is so gorgeous. I am pleased to say that they even said that I look like her. Oh yea! Anyway, they kept saying that I have a really good looking family. Yep. I do. Also, Ammon looks so old in the pictures that Cortney emailed me! Does he quaff his hair? It looks good Ammon. Also, I got your email, Ammon, but I am planning on writing you back in a letter. I will do my best to do that soon, I just don't have enough time to email you back. I haven't gotten those skirts yet, mom, but I will let you know when they get here. I think I would still like blister block, yes. My shoes don't really bother me, but I haven't worn those ones with the heel like at all, so I was waiting for blister block to start breaking them in. I can't remember if I ever answered you about having a car. All sisters drive cars, and that's how it will be for the entire mission. Also, tell Cortney thanks for the pics, but I want words, too. Also, can I use the Garman GPS that we own? Will you ask Dad? We had one that an Elder was letting us use, but he is being transferred so I don't know what we're going to do anymore. Think about it. I will take good care of it, but I've heard it's nice to have a GPS.

I am now with my new companion, Sister Wilkinson. She is the sister that I was with whenever I went to Ventura, so she isn't really "new" to me. She is just officially my companion now. We did a weird transfer. Normally we would have transfers tomorrow, but because I was with Sister Tippetts we switched yesterday so that Sister Tippetts could be in Ventura today to help with a new sister that is coming in. I said goodbye to her last night. It was fine for me. She officially leaves the mission on Wednesday. I am really excited to be with Sister Wilkinson. We both have a burning desire to work hard and improve. She has been here for 6 months, so we're both new missionaries which is great. I think it's good for me, because I know Moorpark so I will kind of have to lead her as she gets to know the area. That will push me to be better because I have more responsibility, kind of.

Mom, you asked about the wards. I really love both wards here. The members love us even more than we love them. They haven't had sisters here since like 1985, so they are just eating us up. Our dinner calendar is already full through August, which is great but kind of scary. I am working hard on only eating one helping at each home. The members are all great about missionary work, so we spend a good amount of time with them. I really love Sundays because I get to feel the spirit so much, and the ward members just build our confidence so much! I'll have to tell you more about specific families later. I just really love Moorpark. Actually, it was really hot here the past few days, so I haven't loved the weather, but I do love Moorpark. haha. And don't worry mom, I put on sunscreen every day. I haven't been burned yet! Are you proud??

Now for an update on my people -

This week was the best week yet, because Wendy was baptized! We were able to meet with her once during the week to finish the lessons and to talk about her baptism and set it all up. That was good for me to see what needs to be done to get everything ready for a baptismal service. The baptism itself was a really good experience for me. It was so wonderful to see what it looks like when a person progresses in the gospel and is converted unto baptism. At her baptism, Brother Wright, the old mission leader in the Moorpark 1st ward who played a big role in helping Wendy, spoke on baptism. I really enjoyed listening to him talk about how important faith is. I felt the spirit so much as Wendy was baptized by her fiancé Craig. It was a great experience because it was also Craig's first time baptizing someone. After she was baptized, Wendy just had a glow about her. She literally looked brighter. Sister Tippetts spoke about the gift of the Holy Ghost, because Sister Wright had gotten bronchitis. Sister Tippetts gave a really good talk as well. Wendy was then confirmed yesterday at church, and I was so excited for her. Baptism is so important, but it really means nothing without the second half, the baptism by fire through receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. I love Wendy so much. She had been a rock for me as I have been going through adjusting to being a missionary. Whenever I was having a hard time and was able to teach Wendy, I was quickly reminded of what the purpose is of me being here. I am here to help others build their faith in Christ. It was just a wonderful day on Saturday as well as yesterday, Sunday, especially because I just love Sundays as a missionary. I love being able to partake of the sacrament and feeling the spirit when I attend church. I am grateful that the Lord allowed me to be a part of teaching Wendy, and that Heavenly Father trusted me enough to have the spirit with me as I taught her.

On Monday we taught Sister Olie Hamm. She was baptized in March and we realized that she hadn't been receiving the new member lessons. We taught her about the restoration with an emphasis on the priesthood. It was a really good lesson and I was personally able to learn more about the priesthood that strengthened my testimony of its importance. It was also good for me to participate in teaching a new member lesson so now I know what should be done for teaching Wendy those lessons.

We taught Cristina and Eric on Monday as well. It is always interesting with them because they come with a lot of questions, which is good, but it isn't usually about the things that we've taught them. They have asked us about polygamy and about gay marriage, and they do ask questions as we teach them lessons but it is hard to keep them on track as we teach. We planned on teaching them the restoration on Monday, but first we had Eric give an overview of the plan of salvation to Cristina because she had missed it when we taught Eric. After he did that, we started teaching about the restoration and it was good. They understood everything we were teaching but they still would get off topic and we'd be randomly on a tangent about who knows what. That is a goal that we now have with Cristina and Eric, we need to get to the point quickly so they can't take off running with another topic. They invited us to come over on Friday to have dinner with them and teach them again for Sister Tippetts last time with them. Friday was great. We ate with them and then we were able to teach them the entire restoration lesson. As I shared the first vision with them I really felt the spirit strongly, especially as I looked at Eric. I know that he felt the spirit strongly. After I finished bearing my testimony about Joseph Smith, we asked how they felt as I shared Joseph Smith's experience. Cristina then talked about how it made her feel warm and remember how she felt when she had faith in God, but that it was like a movie. It makes you feel good but isn't real. Then when we asked Eric he went along the same lines as Cristina by talking about past feelings and how he had never had the type of feelings that we've talked about. That was a bit frustrating, because I know he felt the spirit as I shared the first vision, but he didn't really understand that we were asking how it made him feel at that moment I guess. He also said that while I was sharing it, that he was thinking about things that he had read about Joseph Smith on mormon.org or lds.org and how it was interesting that we don't share all of it. Cristina's mother was actually sitting in with us as we taught, and she was very receptive to the message. They all agreed to read in the Book of Mormon and pray about it. Afterward we felt kind of sad because we thought it had gone so well because we felt the spirit so much, until they started talking about how they felt, but then we remembered that they had both prayed before that appointment, even Cristina had who doesn't believe in God anymore. I have faith that the Lord will work with them and help them to have a desire to read in the Book of Mormon and find that it is true. If that doesn't happen while I am here in Moorpark I will be a little sad, but it will be ok because Heavenly Father knows what's best for them. I just need to trust in Him that they will be taken care of. I am really grateful for both Eric and Crisitna. I really love them so much and am happy that I am able to continue teaching them.

We got a new investigator this week named Delfy. She had been taught before by the elders, a while back, and we had gone over and talked to her husband last week who accepted a Book of Mormon. When we went back to see them the husband didn't come out, but Delfy sat down with us outside and we taught her part of the restoration. She said that before she had trouble with Joseph Smith, because she thought that we worshiped him. As we taught her the restoration she was able to better understand that he was a prophet and that he restored the church, he didn't start a new church. She said that it made sense and we invited her to pray about Joseph Smith to know if he was a prophet of God. Delfy is really struggling because she is having some difficulties with her son. She reads in the Bible everyday and is looking for help in her life. When she said the prayer after we taught her, she prayed that Heavenly Father would help her to know what she should learn from us coming to see her. That was really great to hear, because at first sister Tippetts and I were worried that she just wanted to meet with us so she had someone to talk to about her son, but after she prayed our fears left. I think it is so remarkable how Heavenly Father helps us to have a greater capacity to feel love for others. I really felt a great desire to help Delfy, and I know that the gospel is what is best for her at this time.

We taught Heena Patel for the first time this week, as well. She was the woman that we had knocked on her door and she wasn't home, but as we were leaving we went to talk to a lady at the mailboxes and it was Heena. She is an Indian woman who is very open and really wants to learn more. We taught her about the restoration and both sister Tippetts and I talked afterward about how strong the spirit was in her home as we taught her about it. She told us after we shared the first vision, that she felt peace as we told her of Joseph Smith's experience. She said that it felt the same as when she had opened the Book of Mormon, because when we first met her we had promised her that whenever she was feeling lonely or sad, that if she would open the Book of Mormon and read even one verse that she would feel peace. She said that when she heard the first vision that she felt that same way. She is so great! She is definitely a searcher, and I am so grateful for the blessing of having met her at those mailboxes. What a miracle!

Another miracle that happened this week occurred when we went to teach the Eaton family. The Eaton family is very interesting. They are the family where the mother is a convert, who actually just went through the temple last Monday, and two of her children were baptized (Bianca and Marcos) but one wasn't (Carlos). We went to meet with them, because we've been teaching Carlos and have been trying to reactivate Bianca and Marcos, but only Bianca was home. This was a miracle, because Sister Tippetts and I had been talking about how we wanted to meet with her alone but we didn't know how to go about doing that. We wanted to meet with her because when we taught her the restoration she expressed that she wasn't sure if there was a God. She felt like there was a higher power, but didn't know if that power is actually God. As we talked with her and she told us about her experiences and why she got baptized I felt so much love for her. She is a daughter of God. She has gone through really, really hard things. She got baptized for the wrong reasons, but even though at first I was taken aback by her story and was a little upset about why she got baptized, I still felt love for her and felt a burning desire for her to know how much Heavenly Father loves her. I don't know what difference it will make to Bianca at this time in her life to have talked with us that day, but I know that there was a reason that things worked out the way they did so that we could teach just Bianca. I am so grateful for that miracle that we were blessed with.

One thing that has really been ingrained into my mind from the start of my mission is the importance of the spirit in everything that we do as missionaries. I am working hard to be worthy of the Lord's trust, and I am continually striving to feel the spirit working through me - meaning that I am trusted by the Lord. I have learned so much already on my mission, and now I am learning how to focus on a few things at a time. I realized that one thing that I really need to focus on is others. I need to lose myself in the work. I am too concerned with my weaknesses and how it is hard sometimes to be a missionary, and I know that as I focus all of my attention on others that I will love this work more, and that days will fly by as I really focus on my purpose as a missionary. I also have learned some great things about declaring the gospel this past week and am excited to implement those things when Sister Wilkinson and I declare because that is a focus for me this transfer. I want to improve my declarations; I want to teach with power as we talk to everyone. I am so grateful to be here serving in the California Ventura mission.

Well, the miracles keep coming! Keep me in your prayers, because I definitely need it.

OH! My funny story of the week! We had the best rejection yet. We walked up to the door of a house and the door was open with the screen door closed. We walked up to the screen door and there was a man sitting at the back of the room at the computer not wearing a shirt. We introduced ourselves and said we are representatives of Jesus Christ. He then said "I don't believe in Jesus, so if I talk to you at all I will just be flirting with you. Now that would just be inappropriate, because I am only wearing my underwear. I'm just being honest." We then realized that he was serious. He was only wearing his underwear. We then gladly left his home and took a few minutes to laugh it out before we knocked on the next door. It was SOOOOO FUNNY! Hahahahah. I love it.

Have a great week! I love each of you so much!

Love,
Sister Bennett

I'll attach a picture from Wendy's baptism. Wendy is the woman getting baptized and Craig is her fiancé that she met on Battle Star Galactica!

Haley and Sister Tippetts at the baptism of Wendy.

Red Hair, Don't Care. Gingers Can Do Anything.

July 16, 2012

Family!

That quote, "Red hair, don't care. Gingers can do anything," came in a letter from Colin. He said that is what Cortz says, and I have adopted that as my mission motto. When people are mean to me, I just think "red hair, don't care." Isn't that great!? Mom, can you post my emails onto my blog please? My friends want to hear about what's going on with me. Also, when you post them you should post a link on my facebook. I showed you how to do that the night before the MTC. Remember? You wrote it down in a notebook. Britt should be able to help you if you need any. I just keep hearing from my friends that there are only like two letters on my blog. Hah.

This past week I have really been thinking about how I want to be a hard working missionary. Brandice said something in a letter to me about how we can't work ourselves to death, and talked about how important planning is. I was thinking about that a lot this week, because I just want to work harder. It's not that I don't work hard, but I just feel like I can do a lot more. There are definitely some times when I don't want to get out of the car and go talk to people, but I'm working hard to change that attitude because I have about 14 more months of doing that. haha. Anyway, I was really thinking a lot about how important nightly planning is, because to be honest it really drives me nuts sometimes, but since I got that letter from Nan I realized that as we take the time to plan that is how we are going to get the most work possible in a day. I have a greater desire to talk to everyone on the street, because I want to feel exhausted when we come home at night because I've talked to so many people. The problem is that sometimes I don't say as much when we are declaring to people on the street. For some reason when I'm with Sister Tippetts declaring, I just let her do all the talking because I'm trying so hard to focus on what the spirit is telling me to say. I talked to Sister Tippetts about that and she was saying how a lot of times we just have to open our mouths and have faith that right in the second we will be filled with words, but first we have to show that faith. I thought that was really good, so that's something I'm going to be working on a lot this week - really trying to teach in unity when we meet people instead of just letting Sister Tippetts do all of the talking.

Now, on to investigators. This past week we had a lot of great teaching experiences. We were able to teach Christina and Eric on Monday. They are a married couple who have very interesting beliefs about everything. Christina used to be a Jehova's Witness, but no longer believes in God. She now believes in energy. Eric has all sorts of different beliefs on things, but he does believe there is a higher power of some kind. We have taught them a few times now, and Christina read the Plan of Salvation pamphlet, which was good. Eric, however, did not read it. When we went to their home on Monday it was a bit crazy because Christina was in the middle of making dinner. We helped her chop up some food and when Eric got home, we sat down with him and taught him the Plan of Salvation. He said that it all made sense, but that there is no way to really KNOW if it's true. We talked to him about prayer and about how just experimenting with prayer, showing that tiny bit of faith (as in Alma 32), that we knew he would be able to get an answer and know, like we know, that the plan of salvation comes from God. We invited him to pray alone to know if the things we taught are true, so I really hope that he was able to take time and pray. I think that if we are able to get Eric to take steps forward and feel the spirit, that he will be a great help with Christina in helping her have a desire to know for herself. We are teaching them again tonight, so we will see if he was able to pray.

Last Monday we were also able to teach Kayley K. She is the young woman, 14 years old, that we taught with the Bennett family. She is really good friends with Laurel Bennett. We taught Kayley about the restoration. It was a really great lesson. Whenever she had questions she asked them, and as we taught her I know that she was able to feel the spirit, especially as we shared the first vision with her. We talked to her about seeing if her parents would want to learn as well, and that is definitely something that Kayley wants, but she said that she wanted to know for herself before she tries to get her parents to also learn. She is so elect. She has such a great desire to learn and know the truth. She reads the scriptures and prays daily. I know that the gospel is going to have such a great impact on her life. I am so excited to get to teach her again!

On Thursday we got to teach a lady named Sue. We met Sue when we were knocking a few houses after we had passed by for a potential investigator. At first when we met Sue, she was trying to sluff us off and kept saying she wasn't interested, but as we kept talking to her we found out that she really likes doing family history and has been thinking about how she wanted to get back into doing that. She had heard about the great family history programs we have in the church and we set up a time when we could come back and teach her about why family history is so important to us. Well, on Thursday we got to teach her the plan of salvation. She really loves family history. She had gotten out all of her family history that she had done in the past, and she was so proud as she showed a lot of it to us. As we taught her about the plan of salvation, relating it back to family history, I felt the spirit so strongly as I talked to her about my knowledge of the plan of salvation and how that knowledge has affected me in my life. As I shared my testimony, I felt so grateful for the knowledge that I have about the plan of salvation and the knowledge  I have that my family will be together forever. What a comfort that is. Sue is so great. We are planning on taking her to the family history center for our next appointment, and teaching her about the restoration. I'm really looking forward to it.

Wendy is getting baptized this Saturday, the 21st! I am so happy about that, especially after the few days when Hermana Tippetts and I hadn't been in contact with her. We were worried that she hadn't been able to stop smoking and drinking coffee so she was avoiding us. Luckily, she was just really busy with work! I am so excited to be able to have my first baptism. Wendy is such an amazing woman. She has such a strong testimony of Joseph Smith and of the restored gospel. When Sister Tippetts and I went over the baptismal interview questions with her, she said that she got the chills when we asked her if she believed that the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored through the prophet Joseph Smith. That was so sweet. One thing that I really love about Wendy is her love for the scriptures. She was talking to us about how her fiance is coming to baptize her, and this will be the first time that she meets him because they met online playing a game called Battle Star Galactica. Wendy first started reading the Book of Mormon because Craig had told her about it and said that he would read it with her. So every night they get onto Skype and read the scriptures together. Right now they are reading in the Doctrine and Covenants. It's pretty crazy because when they Skype they only do voice, they don't see each other. Wendy said that one of the dates that she hopes she and Craig will have is just reading the scriptures together. I thought that was so sweet. She is going to be such a great member of the church and will be such a good member missionary!

My favorite part of the week was teaching Tonya and Caitlin. Tonya is in her forties and Caitlin is her 15 year old daughter. They were introduced to the church by Cody, a young man in the second ward who has introduced a lot of people to the church. They are both such great people and they just take in everything that we teach them and want more! Sister Tippetts and I were talking about them and talking about how easy it is to teach them, and Sister Tippetts was saying that that is how the truly elect are. You are always teaching to their needs because their need is just to learn and know more! We taught Tonya and Caitlin about the plan of salvation. Caitlin had mentioned before that when she was at youth conference she had really liked it when people had talked about how families can be together forever. As we talked about the plan they both just took it all in and said that it made so much sense. The best part of the lesson was when we talked about ordinances that we do while on earth, one of which is being sealed in the temple to our families. As we talked about it, I looked up at Caitlin and she had the biggest grin on her face and she made such a cute face at her mom. It was so sweet to see the spirit touching their hearts and telling them that it is possible to be with our families forever. I can't wait for them to get baptized. I think they were nervous about how soon their baptismal date is, but we talked to them about how baptism is just the first step and that we don't need to have a perfect knowledge of the gospel to be baptized because it is just the beginning!

Oh, here's one miracle of this past week. One night we were passing by for a former investigator named Heena. We went to her house, this was after dark, and all of the lights were off and it was super dark. No one answered the door so we started back toward the car, but we still had like 10 minutes left before we needed to head back home. As we walked toward the car we saw a woman down the street at the mailboxes, so we booked it over to go and talk to her. Well, as we talked to her we found out that her name was Heena! How awesome is that. As we spoke with her she told us about how her husband had gotten baptized into the church but was leaving her and hadn't been living with her and her son for like 3 years. She was really sad and talked about how she gets very lonely sometimes. We gave her a Book of Mormon and told her that it will comfort her. We have an appointment with her this week! What miracle to have caught her at those mailboxes!

Funny story. This happened a few weeks ago, but I realized that I hadn't told you about it. One day we had gone over to an investigators home to set up another appointment with him, sadly he wasn't home. As we were about to leave we saw a guy sitting in his garage, so we walked over to talk to him. He wasn't wearing a shirt and we were a little afraid that he wasn't wearing anything at all. As we approached him we saw that he was wearing pants, so we were relieved about that. We said hi and introduced ourselves as Sister Bennett and Sister Tippetts and the first thing he said was, really loudly, "I'M HUNG OVER." We were like, ok....great. We talked to him for a bit and gave him a Book of Mormon and right before we left he was like "Ok, I'm not hung over anymore, weird." Hahaha. It was so weird and hilarious.

Yesterday Sister Tippetts and I taught the gospel principals class and we taught the elders and priest quorums! We taught the priesthood about missionary work and how to normally and naturally share the gospel with their friends. That was actually kind of fun teaching them. I wasn't nervous at all to teach either class, even though President Castro was in the Gospel Principles class. He had come so that he could interview Wendy for baptism. Anyway, it was really fun to teach and I felt the spirit a lot so I learned a lot while we taught. After church I started to feel kind of sick. My throat was hurting and I kind of had a headache, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from working the rest of the day. I took a few ibuprofins and we went out to find new people to teach. I did pretty well for the rest of the day until we got to Brother Levine's home. He is a less active member that we had decided to stop by and see. As we sat there with him I all of a sudden felt terrible. I got the shivers like crazy and couldn't stop my legs from twitching. I felt bad because Sister Tippetts was just doing all of the talking and I wanted to help but I couldn't talk. Then at the end of the lesson she turned to me and was like "Sister Bennett did you want to say anything." Then I had to admit that I was feeling super sick and kind of teared up for a second. We got out of his home at about 8:15pm and Sister Tippetts took me straight home. When we got home I took my temperature and I had a really bad fever, 102 degrees. I went to bed immediately. I felt so sick. I wanted to cry and I kept thinking about how I just wanted to pack my bag and come home so I could have a hug from mom. I'm such a baby! But it was really hard! I could barely even sleep, I was so hot and cold all night. Sister Tippetts told me this morning that I kept talking in my sleep and I would say things like "I'm dying," "It hurts," "I can't breathe," "I just want to work," and my favorite "I just love her....SO MUCH." We both decided that I must have been talking about mom when I said I just love her so much. Hahaha. How embarrassing. I asked Sister Tippetts if she was laughing way hard at me. She said she probably would have if it hadn't been so sad. She said it was the saddest little voice, and that she kept wondering if she should wake me up. haha.

Oh, on Friday Sister Tippetts and I went down to Ventura to do interviews with President Castro because we had missed them when he came to our zone due to exchanges that Sister Tippetts needed to go on. It was so good to have an interview with President. He addressed all of my concerns. When I came in and sat down with him he just spoke for about ten minutes without me saying anything and everything that he talked about were things that I was struggling with. He really made me feel so good. Maybe he just knows how to boost my confidence, but he kept telling me how grateful he is that the Lord put me in his mission. He said that one of the many reasons I am in the California Ventura mission is because President Castro needs me there. He talked about what a great asset I will become as a missionary and how he has already seen so much change in me since that first day that he interviewed me. He also talked about patience again. He said that I need to be less critical of myself, because I am doing great. He talked about not focusing on all of my weaknesses, but just to pick out a few things to work on each week and to have patience as I work to make those weak things strong.

Oh, also I'm super worried about the status and welfare of my hair. It's turning blonde! Ahhhhh! I don't know why this is happening to me, but I'm totally becoming a California girl. Seriously, my hair is getting a lot lighter, so pray for it to stay red. I have gotten a lot of compliments about the color of my hair, so that has made me feel really good. Now I know what it's like to be Cortney....except no one gets as many compliments as Cortz. Let's be honest. Oh, and another thing. I hate dogs. I got bit by one at Tonya and Caitlin’s house. This huge dog kept jumping on me and I was trying to push it off and he dug his tooth into my bicep! Ugh. Dogs are the worst and everyone has them. I can't stand them.

Well, I am doing well -kind of. My throat is really swollen. It's kind of gross actually.  Sister Tippetts looked at it and was like "Gross. It's super swollen", and I said "Yeah right." But when I went into the bathroom and looked, my left tonsil is super swollen and like pitted. I'm not sure what that means, but I think it will get better in time. I just want to play sports today, but I don't know if I feel well enough. That makes me mad. Oh, Mom did you pay rent for July and August at the Enclave? Sorry that you have to do that. I just wanted to check though. Also, can Cortney get Anne Jepson's address for me? Oh and can someone find out where Blythe Beecroft is? She is my worst friend because she has yet to write me. Cortney can talk to her for me, too.

Anyway, I'm continuing to grow and improve as a missionary. It's not easy but it's worth it and as the days continue to go by my love for this work just grows more and more. I am so excited for Wendy's baptism! I'll have to send you pictures of the baptism! I hope you all have a great week. Attach pics of Cortz in Aquatennial to the next email, and send some so I have hard copies. I love you all so much. I am so grateful for your prayers and for how great everyone has been about writing to me. I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful family and such good friends (Adrianne!).

 Love,

Sister Bennett

Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel

July 7, 2012

Hey to my fam,

I hope you all enjoyed your Fourth of July celebration! I want to see some pictures, so don't be shy, just send 'em to me! We didn't have a celebration for the 4th. Well, I guess we kind of did. We came in an hour early because the mission president asked all missionaries to do so for safety reasons. It was kind of funny because here in Moorpark they celebrate on the 3rd by doing fireworks and whatever. I guess it's just a tradition here. On the Fourth we did have dinner at a member's home, and we got to eat some burgers, so I felt right at home because I was guessing that is what you all had to eat as well!

This last week was a great week as far as teaching goes! We got to teach a lot of our investigators and had the opportunity to talk to many people who became new investigators. We got to finally catch a referral that we had received from a sister in the ward. The referral is Nancy. When we finally caught her at home, we were able to teach her the full restoration lesson right then during our first meeting with her. She is really great. She just expressed a desire to learn and know more about God and what he wants from us. She came to the baptism in Westlake with the member that had referred her. It was the baptism of these two twin girls that are on a TV show on ABC. You will have to look it up, it's called Suburgatory. They're super cute and I felt the spirit so strongly as they were baptized. Anyway, Nancy had a great experience at the baptism, and told us that she felt really light and full after being at the baptism. Right after, we taught her at the member's home. We showed her the restoration video to make sure that she fully understood and then explained the importance of the Book of Mormon and praying about it because the first time we taught her we had run out of time to explain. She is really excited about everything. She kept talking about all of her friends that she would invite to have lunch with us or other things like that so that we could talk to them about the gospel, too. She also said that she wants her children, two sons, to learn as well, but not until after she has learned more so she knows what she is talking about when they ask her questions. She is definitely one of the Lord's elect!

We were able to meet Kayli this week. She is a young lady who is 19 years old and has been going to church for 3 years. We met with her because she has yet to be baptized. She knows that the church is true and that she needs to be baptized, and she wants to be baptized, but she is afraid to ask her dad because she doesn't want to cause a rift between them. She could get baptized if she wanted, but she really respects her father and wants him to be ok with her being baptized. As we spoke with her, it seemed that it was too simple; she just needed to ask her dad. The problem is that she is too scared and it seems like she is just waiting for the "perfect" moment to ask him. As we did weekly planning after meeting with her, when we were discussing what she needed in order to continue to progress, we took a moment and just thought. In that moment I said a prayer to myself, asking the Lord what Kayli needed to do in order to be baptized so that she can have the gift of the Holy Ghost. After I finished my little prayer, I thought for a moment longer and got the idea that Kayli should pray to know what day she should be baptized, not to pray to know when to ask her dad or how to ask her dad. I felt really good as I shared that with my companion, and I know that if she does that she will be putting her trust in the Lord. We are meeting with Kayli on Wednesday, so I'm really excited to share this with her and help her come closer to being baptized.

We had a little bit of a scare this week with Wendy. She had cancelled our appointment on Thursday because she said that work was too hectic. We thought that was fine, but as we tried to contact her over the next few days she wasn't responding to any of our calls or text messages. We decided that we would give her space, because Wendy really likes her independence. She doesn't like to seem like she needs anyone else. We were really worried about her, but we knew that she would come to church on Sunday so we could talk to her there. Well, Sunday came and she wasn't there. That really made us worry, but we didn't know what to do. We had her address, but she didn't know that we had it. The elders who were here before us had it somehow and they had written in the area book that she didn't know. Since it is Wendy, we weren't sure if it would be ok to just go drop in on her. We went about the rest of our day according to what we had planned, but when 8:30 came I just felt like we really needed to come in contact with her somehow. We then went to the car and said a prayer to know what we should do. Right after the prayer I felt like the idea of visiting Wendy no longer seemed "scary" or like it would be an inconvenience to her, so I shared that with my companion. When we got to Wendy's apartment and saw her, at first she seemed a bit "weirded out" by us being there at her home, but as we expressed our concern and love for her, her expression softened and I could tell that she was grateful that we stopped by. She is still doing well, but she had been sick all day so that was why she hadn't attended church. It was good that we visited her, because she had gotten into an argument with a friend, who is a member, and had felt like she wasn't sure if she would be ready to be baptized by the 21st. We were able to reassure her and we had the impression to talk to her about getting a priesthood blessing. It was a great experience to see how the Lord uses us to help his children. We are literally instruments in his hands.

Last preparation day I was in Ventura because of exchanges that my companion had to go on, as one of the traveling sisters. We went to lunch with two of the sisters who were at the church emailing when we were. One of the sisters, well Hermanas, was Hermana Hulm. I had sat by her the day before at church, because we had to go to the Spanish branch in Ventura, so she was translating for Sister Wilkinson and I. She was really fun, and we talked a bit after church and decided that we needed to get together on P-day so we could talk more. Well, we went to Taco Bell for lunch (Nan's fav) and as we were talking we figured out that we have a lot of the same friends from BYU! She actually kind of dated one of my good friends at Liberty Square and knew all of his friends that I had spent most of my time with when I lived at Liberty. We also figured out that she almost went on the same trip to Vegas that I had gone on with those friends. It was really fun to find that connection and it was fun to get to know her. It is definitely apparent that we will become great friends, or we would if we could be companions, which can't happen sadly, but we'll be able to become good friends somehow because we decided that WE HAVE TO!

One thing that I have been focusing on a lot this week is tender mercies. I remember Brandice talking about them all of the time when she wrote home as a missionary, and as I read in Ether this past week, I read about how when the Jaredites arrived in the promise land they got out of the boats and gave thanks to the Lord right away for all of the tender mercies he had given unto them. That struck a chord with me, especially because I had been thinking about tender mercies for the days preceding that. I decided that it would be a good thing for me to start recording at least 1 or 2 tender mercies at night each day when I write in my journal, because as I go through hard days it is important to really reflect and see how much the Lord really does for me and especially for this work. Anyway, I encourage you all to take the time and think of the tender mercies the Lord gives you in your daily lives. It has already been so good for me to do so. It makes me seek to have a more grateful attitude as I serve and as I live my life.

This week I read the talk in the last conference Ensign by Sister Dalton - it was her address at Young Women's conference. As I read about the swimmer that allowed the fog to cloud her vision and get in the way of her goal, I realized that there were things in my life that I need to repent of and change so that my vision of the goals I made for myself before my mission is not hindered. I prayed a lot to know what I really need to apply this to, and I realized that I need to let go of my pride. I don't mean pride in the sense of thinking I'm the best missionary ever and that I don't need the Lord, because trust me, I definitely know that. That's probably all I know for sure. I mean pride with others. I need to be humble with my trainer and allow myself to learn from her. I'm a confident person and I have always had trouble being teachable, right dad? haha. I just realized that the pride that I hold when I'm around others is getting in the way of the possibility of having really great relationships with my companions. It's been hard. I feel like lately I have just been recognizing all of my weaknesses. I feel like instead of one large mountain to climb, I have like 7 or 8 and I feel anxious because I just want to get over these weaknesses as quickly as I can. I was having a hard time yesterday with this, thinking about all of my weaknesses. I was feeling pretty emotional, too, so you know what that means...PMS. As I read in Ether still, I read Ether 12:27. It talks about how the Lord gives us these weaknesses to make us humble, and that as we are humble he will make them strong. I am grateful for my weaknesses, because it means that I am able to progress and come closer to my Savior through using his atonement to make those weaknesses strong. I know that seeing these weaknesses is definitely a blessing that the Lord has given me, because if I didn't even recognize them I would not be able to overcome them. I know that the Lord knows what is best for me, but especially what is best for those that I teach. He knows what changes that I need to make so that I can be a better tool for him to spread his gospel.

Well, while all of this thinking about my weaknesses was happening, I also became a bit upset with myself because I feel like I am spending too much time worrying about myself and my weaknesses when that time should be spent thinking about others. I just want to be able to "lose [myself] in the work" as President Hinckley was told by his father, and as I was told by my dad. Ugh. It's just hard. I need to get over my weaknesses and I need to make myself better, but really I need to be thinking about others! I have so much to learn. These 12 mountains I have to climb are a bit intimidating, but I know that I can do this. I know that it's better for me to have these concerns and be thinking about these things than to not be. I do have a desire to be the missionary the Lord needs me to be, so I guess that's my answer. I just need to put my shoulder to the wheel and push along. Right mom? Isn't that like one of your favorite songs? At the same time as recognizing all of these things, I also have been looking back on the few weeks, which feel like 7 years (I won't lie), and I can see so much progression in myself. I am so grateful that the Lord allows me to see that, because it helps me to put my shoulder to the wheel. It helps me have even more faith in the atonement and the changes that I can make through it, because I have already been making changes that I have desperately needed.

Anyway, I'm so serious these days! Dang it! Here's a funny story. Last week when I was in Ventura with Sister Wilkinson, we knocked on a door and a man opened it and immediately invited us in. I was like "Oh great, members that won’t let us leave for like 30 minutes," and I started to try to think of ways that I could get us out of there. When we sat down and started talking with them we found out that they are some other religion, protestant or something, and they just always invite any type of missionaries in because they appreciate the work we do. We had a nice discussion with them, and we shared a message and they were sharing their beliefs with us, too. The man had actually been baptized in our church, but hadn't been active for like 40 years. He was not interested in our church. They had very strong beliefs in their church and said that they would read the Book of Mormon. That was great, I thought. Then we asked if we could say a prayer with them before we left and they were like "Actually we would like to pray for you!" Then the man proceeded to speak in tongues in the prayer. I was like WHAT THE??? Haha. I had no idea what was going on, I just looked over at him and he was a shakin’ and a groovin’ all over the place. IT was pretty funny. As soon as we got into the car, Sister Wilkinson and I died laughing. It was great!

We have one investigator that we've gotten to teach so far and I had a great spiritual experience with that. Her name is Wendy. She is the one that Hermana Tippetts called and talked to you about. She is ready to be baptized and her faith and her desire are both great testimony builders to me. Yesterday, as we taught her, I was desirous to really rely on the spirit and teach her what the Lord wanted me to teach her. As I prayed to have that experience, I found myself speaking to her with the spirit present. I felt the spirit strongly throughout the entire lesson and I really felt like I was being guided by the spirit in what I said to her. She wants to be baptized, but she is having a hard time understanding why she has to give up coffee and clove cigarettes to be baptized. I know that she felt the spirit yesterday as we taught her, so I am confident that she will be able to do it!

We contacted one family in the 1st ward that has a mother that is active, but the rest of her family is less active. The Eaton family. I feel strongly that we can really help their daughter, Bianca, as we invite her to come teach with us and as we go and teach their family. There is also a boy, Marcos, who hasn't been baptized yet who is 13 or so years old. I know that the Lord wants us to work with them and help their family.

WELL, I love you all so much! Have a great week. Mom, I didn't get an email from you, so send me a letter. Tell Cort to also. Oh and make sure you save all pictures I send to you because my camera is weird and whenever I load pics from it, it loses those pictures. Let me know if they've worked. Ok I love you so much! Keep praying for the work to go well!

Love,

Sister Bennett

Letter from a ward member -

July 9, 2012

Dear Tippetts and Bennett families,

Thought you'd enjoy the attached picture of Sister Tippetts and Sister Bennett after a lesson with my friend Nancy after Nancy's 2nd lesson. Notice Sister Tippetts shoes. No she does not tract in these. Sister Tippetts was admiring Nancy's shoes and tried them on. Nancy was happy to share her shoes because these Sisters shared something very precious with Nancy, their testimonies of the restored gospel of our Savior, Jesus Christ!

We are so thankful to have Sister missionaries now in Moorpark. It is an answer to prayer. My friend, Nancy, was interested in learning more about our church but Nancy found it difficult to set up appointments with the Elder's who needed to have a male in the home during her
lessons. Nancy was ecstatic to learn we now have Sister missionaries. After her first lesson, she quickly accepted the first vision. She was confused as to who wrote the book Joseph found in the hill. But the sisters had her open to the introduction of the Book of Mormon and taught the truths she had sought. Your daughters share powerful testimony and Nancy can feel the spirit testify of the truths being taught. They've become fast friends as you can tell from the picture.

Thank you for sharing your daughters with us. I know the joy and sacrifice involved. My daughter returned 8 months ago from serving in the Canada Halifax mission. Currently, I have a son serving in the Missouri Independence Mission.I know how greatly we miss them but how grateful we are for their dedication.

You can be well pleased with your daughters who love the gospel and are excited to share it.

Enjoy the photo.

Warmly,
Holley Tolliver
Moorpark 2nd Ward

Haley and Sister Tippets with an investigator, Nancy.



"Ding-It!"

July 2, 2012

Hello to my lovely family,

I hope you are all basking in the togetherness of being with the entire family minus me. I was thinking about you all yesterday while I was in church and I thought about how grateful I am for each of my siblings and the  examples you are each to me. Enjoy being together, because that never happens! I mean seriously, even Britter is there with you! What the?

I have had a week of ups and downs, emotionally. I think my strong desire to be a good missionary makes it hard for me to be happy, if that makes sense. I realized that I am too hard on myself. I know that I am still a brand spankin' new missionary, but I don't want to be. I know that I have so much more to learn to become that missionary that I so desperately hope I will be, but it's hard falling on my face so many times. However, a valuable lesson that I learned yesterday as I bore my testimony to the young men in the Ventura 2nd ward was that the Lord knows me and knows what I need better than I can ever know myself. Yes, I was in Ventura this weekend because my companion and the other traveling sister, Hermana Clark, went to Bakersfield to do exchanges with the sisters there. One of the sisters they did exchanges with was Sister Greer! I miss her. So, this entire past weekend I have been with my other companion, Sister Wilkinson. It's an interesting situation for sure, but I know there is a reason that the Lord has put me in it. I will be with Sister Wilkinson all day today and tomorrow and then I will be reunited with Hermana Tippetts on Tuesday night.

We were able to have a lot of lessons on the few days that we were actually in Moorpark though, so that was good. I love Moorpark, just so everyone knows. I haven't been here that long, but the Lord has blessed me to already have a love for this area and for the people that I am teaching. We met with Christina and Eric this week. They are a husband and wife that we first met last week while we were tracting. We had talked to them about the Plan of Salvation a little bit that first time we met them. This week we planned on teaching them the full Plan. We felt that all of their concerns, especially Christina's, would be resolved through  learning the message of the Plan of Happiness. We mostly taught Christina because her husband was downstairs with company. About half way through teaching, Eric came upstairs and joined us. They have a lot of questions and have a lot to say about everything we teach, but Christina has said many times that she feels really good "energy" from us. She believes in energy, not God, is how she would put her beliefs. She actually used to be a Jehovah's Witness, but no longer believes that way. Now we just need to explain to her that the "energy" she is feeling when she is with us is the Spirit. The hard thing with her is that we can never get a word in. She talks about how she just loves us and she loves how I poke fun at her all the time, but she won’t let us barely get a portion of our lesson in. Anyway, I think it is really important for her to read the Book of Mormon, because she has so many questions and I know that if she reads and prays about it that her concerns will be resolved.

I spent Tuesday in Ventura, and Sister Wilkinson and I spent most of the day finding. I know that the Lord has a purpose for everything that we do. I still need to learn about declaring and tracting, but I am happy to say that I am coming to understand it more and am somewhat more willing and happy to do it. I know that the Lord is humbling me in order to prepare me to progress and change toward the missionary I truly desire to be. I really worked on being positive as we declared and thought about how by declaring and tracting I am showing my faith in the Lord that He will place one of his elect in our path. That's also something important that I learned this week from Nan. In her last email to me, she reminded me that not every person is elect. I have really thought about that a lot as we were knocking and declaring. I need to remember that and work hard to knock on as many doors as possible so that I can find those elect. If we aren't knocking how will we find the elect? I also have been studying a lot about finding in Preach My Gospel and have learned so much about it and about how I can become better at finding. Preach My Gospel is absolutely an inspired book and I am so grateful to be able to study it every day! Being in Ventura was good for me. It is nice to be able to learn from Sister Wilkinson and understand how much more I have to learn from Hermana Tippetts.

This week we also taught Crystal. She is the young, single mom, who has great faith in Jesus Christ and has a lot of knowledge of the Bible. We were planning on teaching her about the Plan of Salvation because I had felt very impressed that that was what she needed to be taught. When we got to her home, she told us that she had gone online after we visited with her and remembered now what had held her back in the past about our church. She said that she has problems with Joseph Smith and she doesn't believe that there is a need for the Priesthood anymore. She said that when the Savior was crucified, the tearing of the veil in the temple represented the end of the priesthood on the Earth, and that it meant that we didn't need someone through whom the Lord can communicate. We spent the majority of the lesson  trying to address her concerns and answering her questions. Although it didn't seem like it was going that well, I felt the spirit so strongly as I spoke to her about the atonement and what it means to me. I also felt so much love for her and felt such a great desire for her to come to a knowledge of the truthfulness of the gospel. It was interesting because afterward Hermana Tippetts said that she felt the spirit but not in the way that I did. She then told me  she thinks that sometimes the Lord allows one of the companions to feel that way so that we learn to trust our companions and the promptings that they receive from the Spirit. That was a really good experience for me, and I have been praying that the Lord will work with Crystal and help her to have a desire to find out for herself, through prayer, if there is a reason that we met her that day.

We also had a lesson with a fifteen year old girl named Kayli. She is best friends with a young woman in the ward, Laurel Bennett (possible cousin? Who knows?), and Laurel had brought her over to meet us one night when we were at the ward mission leader's home for correlation meeting. Kayli is an amazing girl. She is a really good person and has such great desire to do what is right. She went to Youth Conference and felt the spirit there, and after youth conference she had made a goal on her own to pray every night for the rest of the summer. She brought along her Book of Mormon and Bible, and she even brought her calendar so we could schedule another appointment with her. She wants to learn about the church and come to a knowledge of the truth  on her own. Once again, as we taught her, the Lord allowed me to feel the love that he has for Kayli. She will be so happy and blessed as she learns about and accepts the message of the gospel. I can see what the Lord sees her future like, and it has helped me to have even more love for her.

One of my favorite things that happened this week was meeting Ryan. Ryan is actually our neighbor. When Hermana Tippetts and I first got to our new apartment, we found a note in the door that was meant for the elders who had lived there before us. The note was thanking the elders for returning the phone to Ryan. Well, on Wednesday we were at the apartment for lunch and Hermana Tippetts said that she really wanted to go and see if he was home and share the gospel with him. Well, Hermana Tippetts was definitely inspired. We caught Ryan at just the right moment. He said that he had just gotten home from one of his jobs and was about to leave for his second job. We stood at his door and talked to him about God and about gifts of the spirit, because Ryan had expressed his desire to help others and he wanted to know how he could do so better. When we finished talking with him, he said that he would really love to meet with us again and asked if we could the next day! Well, we met with him again on Thursday, and he just took everything in. He was eating up everything we taught him and it was like he couldn't get enough. Talk about elect! I am so excited to be teaching him. He has struggled in the past with addiction to pain medications, and he said that this came at the perfect time because he has been sober for 7 days. I know that the Lord knows Ryan’s needs and he sent us to teach him right at that time because He knew that we could help Ryan change his life and come closer to Christ.

In response to Erin's question last week in mom's email asking if I feel normal yet - I don't, but I don't know if that will ever happen. We'll see. I am grateful to have these struggles that I am currently enduring and learning from, because without them how would I progress as a missionary? I never want to feel like "I'm there" when it comes to missionary work, because that would mean that I am no longer progressing. Anyway, I am doing well but this work is seriously hard. I don't think anyone could understand how hard this work is, but I do understand what they mean by saying it is worth it. I know that already and I remind myself of that when I am really struggling. Lately, I have been feeling like I just need to work so much harder. This kind of puzzles me because I don't know how that is possible. I am so exhausted already and I have only been here for a few weeks. I just feel like I can do so much more than I am already doing. Oh, and about being exhausted, having all of these spiritual experiences is super exhausting. After I had that experience with teaching Crystal, I just felt totally drained from feeling the spirit so strongly. That's crazy to me! I don't know how I will make it 18 months with all of these spiritual experiences that are that exhausting. It's a good exhaustion though. I guess that is what will get me through.

I am so grateful to be a missionary. I am so blessed to have the gospel in my life and it has given me a great desire to share it with others. Especially as of late, as I have studied, I have learned what a great blessing it is that I was born in a family where the gospel is present. I know that I am on a mission for a reason and that there are specific people that the Lord had waiting for me to teach. I am continually striving to become better and to be more like my Savior, Jesus Christ. I have been studying a lot about what it means to take the name of Christ upon myself, especially because I wear his name daily on my name tag. It is a great honor to represent him and it is also is a great responsibility that I am working hard to be worthy of.

Love,

Sister Bennett


P.S. - I don't need a cd player. I only listen to music in the car. That reminds me, Solon, I really like that Hawaiian church music, so good job putting it on a cd because I remember telling you I didn't want it. haha. Also, there is a MoTab cd I want called "This is the Christ." It's really good. How do I get fabric balls off of my skirt? Where the bag rubs against me it has created those ball things. My sheets are great. I make myself lunch every day, of course, but we eat at members’ houses most days for dinner. Oh, and if you ever send a package, use the US mail because then they can forward it to me from the mission office. It's hot in Moorpark but it's not that bad. I asked for those skirts because my skirts are really hot fabric. The food is American so it's good. And I don't feel bad declining any food - well I haven't yet. No one forces sisters to eat because we're girls. That's nice, especially since I'm picky. Don't worry mom, I try everything once. Tell Cort to write me again, but tell me more!!! Anyway, have a great week! Enjoy being together!

She already found one. 

A lemon grove. She must be in Heaven!

Study time.

More lemons....

 

More Photos From the MTC -

Hi-ho! Hi-ho! It's Off to Work We Go! June 18, 2012

Mi familia!

That's Spanish for “my family”. Ha! Wow, the Lord knows me WAY better than I know myself. I hope. ;) I'm in California and the adVENTURAs are insane! Let's start from the beginning.

When we landed in the Santa Barbara airport we were greeted by President and Sister Castro as well as some senior missionaries, Elder Blue and Elder Mecham. The new sisters rode in the van back to the mission home with President and Sister Castro and we talked with them and got to know them better. When we got to the mission home, we ate lunch - Salad (one salad a day, right Nan?), which tasted so good because I hadn't eaten at all and I had been up since 3:45 in the morning. After we ate, all of the sisters went to the mission office in Oxnard (Which all mail to me should be sent to the Oxnard address. Sister Mecham then forwards it to the missionaries) and filled out some paper work and had our first interviews with President Castro. In my interview, President Castro told me that he didn't know me before meeting him that day. He said that all he knew about me was what was written on the info for the mission papers and he knew what I looked like from the picture that came with the info. But, he said, as he met me and spoke with me that morning (as he tried to get to know ALL of us) he said that he felt a strong impression that I would be a very diligent and successful missionary. He said that he felt the spirit very strongly around me and he could feel my desire to have the companionship of the spirit as I teach and live my life. Then he went on to tell me that he felt very impressed to then tell me that I need to be patient. He said that as I start working in my first area I will be tempted to be frustrated with myself because I expect so much of myself. “Patience,” he said. Well, I know that he is a very inspired man. I knew it in that moment in that interview because I felt the spirit telling me that I needed to heed his council. I also know that he is inspired because now as I have gone out and worked I have been struggling to not be hard on myself. I just think in my head, "Remember what President said. Be patient Haley, be patient!!" Well, pray for me to have more patience. I need it a lot right now because it is a struggle for me. I just want to be able to teach with power and authority and I know that I'm being humbled right now and my understanding of the importance of relying wholly on the Lord is increasing rapidly.

My trainer’s name is Hermana Tippetts. Yes, Hermana. She is a Spanish-speaking sister who is now an English sister. The Lord seems to have great trust in me because He has asked me to do a great task even as a brand new missionary. Hermana Tippetts is actually Trevor Tippetts cousin. Trevor Tippetts is married to Michelle Pitts who is the sister of one of my very best friends named Sarah Beth Pitts. Sarah Beth, if you read these emails, tell Trevor that his cousin says "hello!" If you don't read these emails you will never know and he will never receive that hello and you will be sad. Back to my new area and why the Lord must have a lot of confidence in me. I am serving in Moorpark. Moorpark used to be an area that Elders served in. That was until this past Wednesday when two sisters "whitewashed" in and took over the area. Those two sisters are Sister Bennett and Hermana Tippetts. We are brand new to this

 area, both of us, and have just been working very hard to find people and to contact people who had been taught before (which there aren't many...at all). We have a HUGE task ahead of us to really get the work in Moorpark going. The Lord put us here for a reason and I know that we will be successful if we work hard. But wait, there's a twist. Hermana Tippetts is one of the traveling sisters. Usually the traveling sisters are companions, but for some reason President was inspired to have Hermana Tippetts and I work together in this area, so he changed everything around in order for us to be companions. That makes me have even more faith that this is the area that I am supposed to be serving in right now. It also intimidates me to know how important it is for me to be obedient and work hard in order to help these people in Moorpark learn about the gospel.

It has been a hard week. It's felt like it's been 2 months rather than a few days, but that's how it was at the beginning of being in the MTC. I just want to be at the point where I am absolutely loving the work. I want to love every second of ever yday and never think about coming home. I'm not at that point yet, but that's where patience comes back in. I think one of the hardest things so far has been knocking and declaring. I'm not afraid to talk to people, that's not the problem. I just sometimes feel that while we are talking to people that we are just trying to say the entire message of the restoration so that they hear it and hope that somehow they felt the spirit. I just haven't come to an understanding yet of how we can allow these people, that we meet on the street or the people whose doors we knock on, to feel the spirit as we teach them. I know that only through the spirit can these people truly learn, so I am struggling to understand the importance of knocking because I have yet to feel the spirit as I do so. However, at the same time I know that we must do it. How else are we going to be finding people to teach here in Moorpark. We have gotten two new investigators from knocking, but I just have been praying that I can gain a testimony of the importance of knocking and declaring the gospel to people.

It's also been kind of hard to have these people be pretty rude. I mean they are my people. We are all people who live in the same country who are very similar to each othe,r but they just don't treat us very well. Don't get me wrong, there are very nice people here as well, but it's been hard for me to be treated the way that we have been sometimes, just because these are my people. I don't know if that made sense, but I've just been trying to understand how God sees them and understand how they must feel in the situation and that has been helping me a lot.

We have one investigator that we've gotten to teach so far and I had a great spiritual experience with that, but I will write more about it next time because I'm running out of time. Sorry!

Well, I really need to go. I'm sorry again that this isn't very long but I've taken too much time on the computer.

Sister Bennett